Ziauddin Yousafzai’s advice for fathers of activists
14-year-old student and girls’ education advocate Anya Sen talks to Ziauddin Yousafzai about the role fathers play in supporting their daughters’ activism. (Courtesy of Anya Sen and Shingi Rice)
14-year-old student and girls’ education advocate Anya Sen talks to Ziauddin Yousafzai about the role fathers play in supporting their daughters’ activism.
When I started advocating for girls’ education, one of the first people I looked to for support was my father. Throughout my life he has supported all of my ideas and provided guidance for how to achieve my goals, so I knew he was the perfect person to look to for help. I know many other young activists can relate. Parents are often our biggest role models; we learn from their behaviors, look to them for advice and shape our belief systems in accordance with their values.
In honor of Father’s Day, I interviewed one of my biggest role models, Ziauddin Yousafzai. Mr. Yousafzai is not only a girls’ education activist himself, but also father to one of my other heroes: Malala Yousafzai. In this interview, Mr. Yousafzai recounts his experiences as a parent of an activist, explains what it was like to co-found Malala Fund with his daughter and offers advice to fathers on how to support their children’s advocacy while letting them branch out on their own.
I really enjoyed interviewing Mr. Yousafzai and learning from his advice, and I’m so excited to share his words of wisdom with all of you!
Anya Sen (AS): What role do you think you played as a father in encouraging Malala’s activism?
Ziauddin Yousafzai (ZY): When children grow up in their communities, in their families, they get a deep impression from their environment. I believe the values I have as a father — my desire to see the world a better place — I spontaneously imparted to my children. And when Malala was young, I was out there, speaking for girls’ education, for women’s rights and openly condemning the Taliban’s inhumane actions against the people of Swat Valley.
Malala was also already very vocal, very good at articulating her thoughts and views because of training she received through her co-curricular activities at the school I started in 1994, where boys and girls in the Swat Valley were educated together. One of the goals of the school was to inspire student leaders and help them become the best communicators possible. It was a daily thing we encouraged students to take part in; drama and speeches and debate contests. Those activities empowered Malala to become the best communicator possible and helped her understand how to choose the right platform for saying the right thing at the right time. So when the Taliban came, she was already prepared.
AS: What were some of the challenges you encountered as a parent of an activist?
ZY: Number one was patriarchy. We were operating in a man’s society where women’s roles, women’s activism, women’s education, women’s work and women’s leadership were not accepted. Because of these social norms, even my close friends and some of our relatives were not happy with Malala’s public presence. They were not happy with Malala’s visibility in the media or her appearance in male social gatherings. They thought, “Her father is not a good man because he is encouraging his daughter to be in the public eye.”
The second challenge was the Taliban authorities. They used the name of Islam to say that girls’ education is prohibited and girls should not go to school. They started destroying schools, burning them down, and literally banned girls’ education. It was a big challenge to speak out against such an extremist force who believed in violence and terrorism and were very ruthless.
AS: What advice would you give to parents who want to support their children’s activism while making sure they stay safe?
ZY: As a father, I’m cautious of the threats a child may face — not necessarily a threat to their life, but a threat to their vulnerability. It’s important to be mindful of the adults your children work with and the kind of people they keep company with. I would also advise parents strongly that we should be very careful in posting the pictures of our children on social media to protect them from online harassment. At first, Malala did her BBC diary through her pseudonym because the BBC and our family didn't want her to be known.
Also, having the confidence and close communication with your children so that they are able to tell you about their lives. If they face some problem or come across some unpleasant people, you should be the first person your children are able to tell.
“I believe the values I have as a father — my desire to see the world a better place — I spontaneously imparted to my children.”
AS: What did you learn from the experience of co-founding Malala Fund with your daughter?
ZY: Before we established Malala Fund, when Malala was in school, she had this meeting with her fellow classmates and some senior students of her school to discuss her idea of having a foundation in the Swat Valley that would help girls who were involved in domestic child labour. I still have the regulations and the purposes and aims of that organisation with me. After the Taliban attempted to silence her, Malala and I co-founded Malala Fund, and she went from speaking for fifty thousand girls to speaking for one hundred and thirty million girls.
It was a great experience. In our case, it was perfect chemistry of father and daughter. I was a teacher, Malala was a student. It's very powerful that we are together in this journey, and I hope it inspires other fathers to believe in their daughters and work for girls’ education, women’s empowerment and a better world. It is also an example for daughters that they can be strong and have a leading role in movements when they work together to accomplish their goals. When we are together, we are more powerful. We are more impactful. In the Urdu language, which is the national language of Pakistan, we have a saying that one [1] is all alone, but when another one [1] comes close it becomes 11 [eleven]. Not two — 11. Together, we are stronger.
AS: Why do you think it's important for fathers to also motivate their sons to speak out for girls' education as much as their daughters?
ZY: Our family social norm is equal respect for women and men, for girls and boys. I'm so proud that I was able to inspire and to believe in something that now my children also believe in. That's such a beautiful thing, and it's very important because when we talk about girls' education and women's rights, one of the hurdles in their way are men. In matters like pay disparity, opportunities in leadership jobs and other social and political roles, we see less women and girls because many boys and men don’t have a sense of fairness, equality and justice. A just person, a fair person, when he is treated more fairly than his female peer or offered an opportunity she is not, he declines and says no. From their fathers, boys can learn how to be good human beings, how to be fair and how to believe in equality and how to respect the rights of girls.
“From their fathers, boys can learn how to be good human beings, how to be fair and how to believe in equality and how to respect the rights of girls.”
And for fathers, how is this done? Through actions. It is not just something that you tell your children, or lecture them every day about. Your behaviour, your attitude, your actions — when you believe in equality, your children really learn from it. For me and for my family, it was very simple. If I want to see my children believe in equal respect for women and men, for girls and boys, I should focus and I should take care of the way I treat my wife. When children see that their father is respected by mother and the mother is respected by father, that they are equal partners in their life and have equal right to the finances of the family, the children will learn it. The children will learn equality. The children will learn human respect from the environment that we both create in our home.
AS: Is there any advice you have for fathers who want to encourage their children to either pursue activism or support their ongoing efforts?
ZY: Encourage your children when they do little things. If my daughter or son — or anybody’s daughter or son — draws a poster for climate change or writes an essay about girls’ education, I think they should be appreciated. We should feel proud of them. That feeling of pride in their activities really inspires children, because the first people children want approval from are their parents. When parents and teachers believe, that’s very important for a child’s growth.
AS: What are some actions fathers and daughters can do together to support girls' education?
ZY: Everyone has an opportunity to do something good, no matter what country they are in. Many young people think, “How can I do things for my community when I don't have money?” And to them I say: You, yourself, are a great asset to the community. What I was doing with very meagre resources in the Swat Valley as an activist was huge because I myself was an asset, a capital into my community. Sometimes people spend millions of dollars on change that doesn’t happen, or even if it does happen, is not long-lasting. On other occasions, leaders and activists with meagre resources or small amounts of money bring about a very, very big change because of their vision, their voice and their unparalleled wisdom. Your own belief in the change you want to see combined with your sincere commitment to struggle for the cause will lead you to succeed. I have seen this over the last several years — we have achieved so many of the things we dreamt for girls and boys in the Swat Valley and beyond.
And of course, it's always great to have more people with you in any mission, in any struggle. When I was in the Swat Valley in Pakistan and I was a local leader for girls’ education, Malala was one of my supporters. Now she is the leader, and I am one of her millions of supporters.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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